The Problem with Being a Woman in Your 30s
Choosing Who You Are Amid the Noise of Who You’re Told to Be
A Little Love Note to the Ladies Navigating Their 30s
They are hard. They are messy, and they are filled with expectation—but they are also beautiful. For it is in your 30s that a force within you becomes so strong, you can no longer ignore its call. Done with people-pleasing, being the 'good girl,' or choosing everyone else above yourself—this is where you get to rise. And when we rise, it is uncomfortable. This is OK. It means you are becoming who you were always meant to be. Be gentle with yourself.
With love,
Millee x
The problem with your 30s
Is that everyone has an opinion about where you ‘should’ be.
The comparisons you experience in your 20s move from how you look or how much male attention you get
To whether you have a partner, children, a home, or how successful you are in your career.
Society tells you it is no longer acceptable to still be ‘figuring it out,’
Meaning you can’t help but compare yourself to others or feel like you are behind.
You no longer seek validation or outsource your worth to your relationships,
Yet you feel the scarcity to meet someone and start to build a life.
You are strong and clear in your values,
However, the pressure around the timelines you are ‘meant’ to hit increases your need to tick them off.
Your biological clock is ticking, or at least that is what you are constantly told,
Yet you are so disempowered when it comes to your own fertility.
Celebrated your whole life and told you were a ‘good girl’ for not getting pregnant,
Now expected to magically make it happen without any guide or understanding of your own body.
You are neither here nor there.
You are in between—
The stage of life where things start to feel real,
Where you cannot help but feel a sense of loss about what you don’t have,
Whilst you also celebrate the life you have built.
Strong in who you are,
Whilst fighting against who you are not.
Accepting what is,
Whilst grieving what could have been.
The problem with being a woman in her 30s is
That you start to know who you are
And accept who you are not.
You stop people-pleasing
And start prioritising your happiness above all else.
You become strong in who you are,
And that can be intimidating for others.
You care less about how you look
And more about who you are as a person.
You have fewer friends than you did in your 20s,
Yet the friends you have are intentional—they are your family.
You have made enough mistakes to have learnt,
And you choose to show up for yourself time and time again.
The problem with being a woman in her 30s is
You feel empowered,
And an empowered woman
Is a force to behold.
If my words found a home within you, please share with a sister.
