How Doing Nothing Has Taught Me the True Meaning of Purpose

Day 11 - Musings from bed

It is currently 9:30 am, and I am still in bed, celebrating the fact that after weeks of sleepless nights and an inability to get comfortable, last night I slept for more than eight hours. I have my matcha in hand, and I have spent the morning lazily lounging in bed.

As someone who used to rate my value on how productive I was being, this kind of lounging can still, at times, invoke feelings of not doing enough. That word 'enough' is something I have carried for a large part of my life. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not financially secure enough, not sexy enough, not worthy enough. Not busy enough.

But really, what is enough? Shouldn’t enough be defined by how we choose to see the world instead of how we are told to see it? This is something I have spent years working on—defining what my version of enough looks like and understanding that my version is going to look dramatically different to somebody else’s. There is no comparison when you create a life of your design; there is only comparison when you try to live by the design of another’s.

Our whole world has been shaped this way. We live in a burnout culture that prioritises doing over being. Imagine running a rechargeable battery into the ground and then expecting it to continue working when it is out of charge—this is exactly how we are taught to live. We are taught that in the nothing, we are wasting our time, when in reality, it is in the nothing that creation is born. If we are constantly expending energy, how can we expect new ideas to emanate?

I held onto this outdated ideal well into my 20s. Whilst I had slightly moved outside of the system and was living a life that I created, I was still tied to this idea that my worth was connected to what I achieved, rather than who I chose to be. I thought achievements and success made me worthy, and it led me to hold on to control so tightly that there was little room to breathe.

When I moved to Thailand in my early 20s, I used to get so frustrated with what is known as ‘Thai time’. I was working for a large travel company, and organising anything in Thailand meant you had to account for Thai Time. If you said, “let’s meet at 10 am,” you could expect people to turn up around 10:30ish. Instead of starting meetings with formalities, they preferred to start them with food.

As time went on, I began to see the beauty in this way of living. Of not letting time or productivity define your worth but instead enjoying the time you have together. This view began to expand when I started working in refugee camps. I spent a lot of time living in Bangladesh, working in Kutupalong Refugee Camp—one of the largest refugee camps in the world—and during this time, I again began to see the beauty in being.

Kutupalong Refugee camp - I owe much of my perspective to my time spent here.

With limited resources and heavy restrictions, those living in the camps were limited in what they could actually do, which meant they would have hours within their days when they simply had nothing they could do. As I spent time getting to know the people within the communities—sitting with them in their shelters, drinking tea, communicating as best we could, playing games, and sharing stories or food—I realised that a person’s worth isn’t tied to what they achieve, it is tied to who they choose to be.

Here you have over a million people, forced to survive in a refugee camp, and they are choosing to show kindness. They are choosing to show hospitality, they are choosing to have empathy, compassion, and love. This is true worth.

This is why I believe the emphasis we put on purpose in today’s society is just as outdated as the emphasis we put on worth. I don’t believe your purpose is some grandiose idea outside of yourself. I truly believe your purpose is simply who you choose to be.

Some of the most purposeful people I have ever come across aren’t people innovating products, becoming 'boss babes', or teaching people how to generate millions of dollars online—they are the people within these camps. They are people who choose, each and every day, to meet their neighbours and strangers with kindness.

They aren’t the people claiming to be spiritual gurus who fly first class whilst treating the people who serve them with disrespect; they are the people who smile at the barista when they order their morning coffee. The people who open doors for strangers and pick up rubbish just because. These are the people who truly understand the concept of purpose and who choose to live purposefully each and every day.

This is why I no longer fear the nothingness of a day. I love the hours that I get to spend simply being. In those hours, I start to recharge, get inspired, and connect back with who I am choosing to be. In the busyness of modern society, we make excuses as to why we are snappy or tired, and it often comes down to how busy we are.

Imagine if we all created a little more space within our days—who would you choose to be?

Much love,

Millee x

Hours spent ‘doing nothing’ but becoming everything in the process.