Business Ventures, Sleepless Nights, and the Tears Between

Day 7 - Morning Musings

Some days you just need a good old cry, and today was one of those days for me. For the past two weeks, I have found sleep incredibly challenging. As someone who used to sleep 8-9 hours a night, the discomfort of pregnancy and the constant need to pee throughout the night is starting to wear thin. What is wearing even thinner is when people tell me, 'Wait until the baby arrives,' as if I don't already know that. I am sure when the baby arrives it is going to be much more challenging, but that doesn't take away from the fact that right now, as someone who used to be an impeccable sleeper, I am finding the lack of sleep and comfort difficult.

This lack of sleep collided with a few other things going on in my life at the moment, and the result has been a sobbing pile of mess. My sister and I have been working on a sleep mask company since lockdown, and if I am being honest, it is the best sleep mask I have ever tried. We originally started selling them on Amazon after being sucked into the Fulfilment by Amazon scheme, but after selling 1,000 masks, Amazon ate up all of our profits, and we couldn’t get past the ethical implications of hosting our product on such a big platform. Instead, we decided to launch again through our own website, and after two years of rising prices and government red tape, our products are finally in the UK, ready to sell.

You would think that after a two-year battle this would cause elation; however, for me, it has caused impending doom. If you have been reading all week you might notice I like this phrase. I was so focused on getting the products here, creating the website, and setting up the backend that I forgot once you have the product, you have to market it. This is where Amazon was great – we didn’t do any of the marketing. Now that our product is here, I have no idea how to let people know how amazing it is.

For the past few months, in preparation, I have tried to boost the Instagram and social media accounts; however, selling products isn’t something that comes naturally to me. Even this statement seems weird to me as someone who spent the first ten years of her working life in sales, but I have changed so much since then, and what sets my soul on fire is the open and vulnerable exploration of self-expression, not selling items.

This realisation has sent me into a bit of a spiral. We have 1,000 sleep masks, incredible sleep masks, waiting to be sold, and here I am with no idea how to sell them. I know they work, and we have hundreds of positive testimonials from customers who bought them off Amazon, yet when it comes to actually getting this information out to the masses, I feel like a fish out of water.

It also brings up something that I find so difficult: asking for help.

Despite being aware of my own inability to ask for help and my commitment to changing this pattern, I struggle. I don’t want my daughter to grow up like I did, thinking that you earn a badge of honour for your independence and struggle. I don’t want her to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness like I did. I want her to know that she is safe to ask the people around her to help her when she needs it, and to do that, I need to do the same. I need to ask for help.

So, I called my sister, and in a very messy and passive way, I asked her for help. It didn’t come out clean, and I danced my way around it until I had no choice but to say, 'I am struggling right now, and I need help,' and help she did. Not only did she reassure me with her words that we would figure it out, but she also started taking action and control – another thing I struggle to let go of. She stepped up when I needed to step down, and it reminded me how safe it is to ask for help.

This, along with the pressure of our upcoming move to the other side of the world, plus being 17 weeks pregnant, has left me in a pile of tears this morning. A runny-nosed, tear-streaked, red-eyed mess, who despite the tears feels so much better knowing that I am not carrying this all on my own. Despite not knowing how the heck we are going to sell these sleep masks, I know that we will figure it out.

The hardest part is done. We have a product that people love, we have a fulfilment centre in the UK, we have a website, and most importantly, we have each other. We created this together, and I am the first to admit that at times I forget that I am not in this alone. I have a fierce relationship with being independent and in control, and it is something I am working on releasing. That control and independence often keep people out, when really, I want to let them in.

So this is me, taking one step towards letting people in. 

Happy Sunday, everyone. I am yet again reminded that every day is a school day if you are willing to pay attention. I end this today still in tears, but no longer tears of stress – tears of relief because it feels so nice when you share the weight of life.

With love,
Millee xxx

P.S. If anyone does want the world's best sleep mask, head over to www.medeyetate.com and use the code SLEEP20 for 20% off.

The irony of owning a Sleep Mask company and currently living with sleepless nights. oh life.